When I was in graduate school, I did a mini thesis for my first research class about the differences between self care in Social Work Students and Business students. I don't remember what my results were. I did a survey; and while administering the survey in the business school, I met a really sweet man from Spain and la la la l'amour l'amour... Anyway, I am pretty sure social workers don't do a good job in general at taking time for themselves.
It's not just about taking time, it's about creating balance. I used to get flack from my boss when I left work at 5 to go down the street to work out at the Brooklyn New York Sports Club. She thought that staying late was a badge of honor. It showed her boss that she was dedicated and... what? There was a schedule of emergency coverage. There was no need to stay late and tick off boxes on a to do list. I always made a point to get the work done in the work hours because I valued my non-work time. I valued working out/staying fit, doing art work, meeting friends for dinner. So if there was nothing that could wait, I left the office. I saw what my then supervisor's life was like and I wanted no part of it. She was engaged with no wedding date set, she smoked, she was out of shape and she stayed at the office til 8PM or later. No, thanks.
Perhaps she saw me as a slacker? I really don't know, and I don't care. I had heard about burn out (this was my first job in Social Work) and I didn't want it. I had enough to worry about. When my father became seriously ill, I used him as the reason I left - and often I did go straight to his home. But after I went to the gym. How I looked after him until he died, worked full time and put myself through graduate school is no mystery - I took care of myself.
So I am a self professed self care junkie. Perhaps that is why I don't really get burned out and I've stayed in the field this long when many of my friends went to other professions (teaching, law, massage therapy). When Pinterest came out - and some of you know this - I was HOOKED. Holy crap now I know why people get addicted to drugs. I had two children and I had stopped making time for creative projects; I could not stop looking at all of the things I wanted to do and all of those creative ideas. I think it was at least 2 years before I could slow down, narrow down my choices (believe me I wanted to try Everything). It opened up a chasm of NEED for me. I needed that outlet. I am a creative person and I needed the inspiration. It led to so many good things for me, creatively and professionally. So poo-poo me all you like about it. I just didn't realize that I was engaging in self care when I sheepishly had to come clean to a colleague about my online addiction - it had become a bit of an office joke, my constant screen scrolling. Half the time I didn't even see what was on the screen because my brain's "open tabs" where processing at the same time. She said she understood that I do it for "self care," and it not only let me off the hook, it validated me.
I thought Self Care meant getting a facial and a massage, but it's more. It's reading a book for an hour, it's sticking to a routine, it's mopping the floor with music on your headphones. It's making room in your life for the fullness of life. NOT just being a social worker and putting your clients first. And if you have kids? You MUST put them ahead of work, and your spouse needs your smile, your hand squeeze, your listening ears. If you find that you can't appreciate any of these things, it's time to schedule a vacation - even a local one where you explore your own region with a road trip or a family movie night. You must turn off the phone and turn on your attention to what is important in your life. Because if you don't you won't have a 1. job or 2. a life. Either extreme is misery.
It's not just about taking time, it's about creating balance. I used to get flack from my boss when I left work at 5 to go down the street to work out at the Brooklyn New York Sports Club. She thought that staying late was a badge of honor. It showed her boss that she was dedicated and... what? There was a schedule of emergency coverage. There was no need to stay late and tick off boxes on a to do list. I always made a point to get the work done in the work hours because I valued my non-work time. I valued working out/staying fit, doing art work, meeting friends for dinner. So if there was nothing that could wait, I left the office. I saw what my then supervisor's life was like and I wanted no part of it. She was engaged with no wedding date set, she smoked, she was out of shape and she stayed at the office til 8PM or later. No, thanks.
Perhaps she saw me as a slacker? I really don't know, and I don't care. I had heard about burn out (this was my first job in Social Work) and I didn't want it. I had enough to worry about. When my father became seriously ill, I used him as the reason I left - and often I did go straight to his home. But after I went to the gym. How I looked after him until he died, worked full time and put myself through graduate school is no mystery - I took care of myself.
So I am a self professed self care junkie. Perhaps that is why I don't really get burned out and I've stayed in the field this long when many of my friends went to other professions (teaching, law, massage therapy). When Pinterest came out - and some of you know this - I was HOOKED. Holy crap now I know why people get addicted to drugs. I had two children and I had stopped making time for creative projects; I could not stop looking at all of the things I wanted to do and all of those creative ideas. I think it was at least 2 years before I could slow down, narrow down my choices (believe me I wanted to try Everything). It opened up a chasm of NEED for me. I needed that outlet. I am a creative person and I needed the inspiration. It led to so many good things for me, creatively and professionally. So poo-poo me all you like about it. I just didn't realize that I was engaging in self care when I sheepishly had to come clean to a colleague about my online addiction - it had become a bit of an office joke, my constant screen scrolling. Half the time I didn't even see what was on the screen because my brain's "open tabs" where processing at the same time. She said she understood that I do it for "self care," and it not only let me off the hook, it validated me.
I thought Self Care meant getting a facial and a massage, but it's more. It's reading a book for an hour, it's sticking to a routine, it's mopping the floor with music on your headphones. It's making room in your life for the fullness of life. NOT just being a social worker and putting your clients first. And if you have kids? You MUST put them ahead of work, and your spouse needs your smile, your hand squeeze, your listening ears. If you find that you can't appreciate any of these things, it's time to schedule a vacation - even a local one where you explore your own region with a road trip or a family movie night. You must turn off the phone and turn on your attention to what is important in your life. Because if you don't you won't have a 1. job or 2. a life. Either extreme is misery.
No comments:
Post a Comment