Therapist vacation
I came home from vacation late last night and got a message
from a client today. She said, “everything goes wrong for me. Always, no matter
what I do.” And unfortunately, a lot of lousy things have happened to her and
It’s frustrating to see her continually experience set backs and
disappointments.
On any other day, my response would have been different. But
I just came home from quite possibly the worst vacation experience I have ever
had.
Every couple of years, my two kids go to stay the summer
with their grandparents who reside in St. Croix. I take them down, they stay,
their dad goes and gets them (and visits his family). Travel there from
Colorado is not direct and there are long layovers, usually in Miami, due to
limited service to the island. This year, we went and I took my mom, and we
planned a very relaxing, beach and sea focused trip with shopping, snorkeling,
sunset watching and sight seeing.
To sum it up: 3 cancelled flights, one of which had been
rebooked to St. Thomas, then cancelled. My over night hotel fee is in dispute
right now since we could never have made it. No rebooking opportunities for 3
days. Stranded in Miami 2 nights, one night in Charlotte, NC. Miami was
apparently in some kind of rainy season. Luggage was all sent ahead to St.
Croix the next morning while we remained in Miami. An excursion I planned to take
my mother to St. Thomas on the seaplane was accidentally mis-booked and we had
to pay change fees to get on the sea plane. I really had my heart set on flying
that way – The plane takes off and lands on water and it’s 20 minutes between
islands. Four days in St. Croix and we had to go home, saying our tearful
goodbyes to my kids. That is never pleasant but I was worried about their
return travels already! Flight home was St Croix to Miami, Miami to Chicago, Chicago
to Denver. Flight from Chicago to Denver was cancelled. No rebooking. No seats
on any flights for 3 days. I booked two one way tickets on another airline. I
was not going to stay 3 days. Another hotel, a full day waiting in Chicago,
before getting home at 1:30AM.
With that many turn of events, it was very hard to keep my
chin up and not feel the way my client expressed. I was furious at the airline
for cancelling so many flights, for so many people and not adding any to
accommodate them. How many travelers had to go home because the extra expense
would be devastating? I had been to St Croix two other times and I had
expectations and plans. I wanted to swim laps every morning on Rainbow Beach…
and I never even got to dip my toes in the water. I went to the beach three
times the whole trip. And only once on St. Croix.
Now, despite being very put out… I forced myself to make a
list. Several good things resulted from these mis-adventures!
1.
I went to South Beach (Miami) for the first time,
saw a cousin of my kids who works for a large Hotel company who got us the
family rate. He lives on Miami beach and we went out to dinner on Ocean Ave and
had a beach morning the next day. When it began raining, we walked over to his
apartment.
2.
My best friend lives in Charlotte, NC and her fiancé
gave us his very beautiful home for the night, then they brought us breakfast
in the morning before we had to go.
3.
I rented a car in St Croix and having my own
wheels there for the first time (vs being chauffeured around by in-laws) was
liberating. Driving on the left isn’t that hard.
4.
I got to ride on the sea plane and went to St
Thomas, running an errand I had planned at a local shop. Also got to lie under
a mangrove tree on a nearby beach.
5.
I met my new niece and got to see/hug/kiss my
nephew, who lives there
6.
My kids are getting to spend time with
grandparents, uncle, aunt, cousins, learn to cook Dominican food and speak
Spanish
7.
My brother lives outside of Chicago and came to
the rescue. I got to see/hug/kiss him and his family.
8.
I got to see the Art Institute of Chicago.
It’s important to make these kinds of lists when it seems
like everything, well, sucks. It’s what I ask my clients to do every day – re-frame
the experience. Trying to find the silver linings. Doing this tells your brain
that you will NOT allow it to go down the dark path. Every time we only see the
negative, our brain becomes more and more accustomed to going there as the
default. It doesn’t make the experience any better, but it is certainly helping
me not hate life right now! Things don't just go badly for you, but the cruelty of depression will tell you that it is you and that everyone else is living a wonderful life. I still had a vacation, just not exactly the one I
had planned.
